Here we go again...Round 2

We begin our 2nd round of fertility shots tomorrow, so you can probably guess that the first ones didn't work. This whole process is just.....well, I can't really think of words to describe it. Frustrating. Disheartening. Challenging. Weird. I just feel a full round of emotions, yet am not sure sometimes how to express it. It just shouldn't be this hard to have a baby, you know? bottom line.

We just want a baby.

The interesting thing through all of this has been my conversations with God. You know, I trust him. I just do. I know that he could miraculously make this happen, and yet, I don't think he is NOT doing it. does that make sense? it is like I have this strangle hold on God right now. I am just holding on for dear life. I know that he loves us and can do this, and yet, I am willing and ready to go through whatever as long as he is there with us. I may not LIKE what happens, especially if we can't get pregnant, but I trust him. It is really weird.

thank you for your prayers. We can feel them. Those moments when I start to feel that drowning feeling...I can feel your prayers. They remind me to keep my eyes focused on God.

I have really debated on whether to write these posts, but the only reason I wouldn't would be pride. But you know what, maybe someone needs to know this: maybe they are going through something or maybe you guys need to know how to pray. whatever it is: here you go. I will keep you posted.

We do the shots for about 7 days, along with many blood draws (which I hate) and ultrasounds. Lord, your will be done. Give us the grace to trust you without condition.

The Door

As most of you know, DG and I have been trying to get pregnant for quite a while now. yes, we've tried pretty much everything, and now we are at our last option. You know, it is really weird, but I have such a peace about the whole thing. Not that we will definitely get pregnant, but that whatever happens: God is there with us. It is like he slowly just opens one door at a time and tells to go there. There will be long times where we don't really know where to go or what to do in all of this, and it seeemd like we just got stuck in that place for awhile. To try and to hope just hurt way to bad for me. But then not doing anything started to hurt too bad too.

and then it just seemed like we both knew that it was time for another step. we had 2 different people just give us fertility injectible drugs, which was the part that we had to stop at before due to money. and boom: within about 2months here we were with these drugs. Well, we prayed and here we are: on day 3 of the injectibles.

So just pray. Pray that we pace with God. Either way, baby or not baby, we feel a peace. I am just ready to know what next. We will keep you posted.

Oh, the picture is the front door of the fertility clinic...kinda neat.