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Monday, November 26, 2007

Here we go again...Round 2

We begin our 2nd round of fertility shots tomorrow, so you can probably guess that the first ones didn't work. This whole process is just.....well, I can't really think of words to describe it. Frustrating. Disheartening. Challenging. Weird. I just feel a full round of emotions, yet am not sure sometimes how to express it. It just shouldn't be this hard to have a baby, you know? bottom line.

We just want a baby.

The interesting thing through all of this has been my conversations with God. You know, I trust him. I just do. I know that he could miraculously make this happen, and yet, I don't think he is NOT doing it. does that make sense? it is like I have this strangle hold on God right now. I am just holding on for dear life. I know that he loves us and can do this, and yet, I am willing and ready to go through whatever as long as he is there with us. I may not LIKE what happens, especially if we can't get pregnant, but I trust him. It is really weird.

thank you for your prayers. We can feel them. Those moments when I start to feel that drowning feeling...I can feel your prayers. They remind me to keep my eyes focused on God.

I have really debated on whether to write these posts, but the only reason I wouldn't would be pride. But you know what, maybe someone needs to know this: maybe they are going through something or maybe you guys need to know how to pray. whatever it is: here you go. I will keep you posted.

We do the shots for about 7 days, along with many blood draws (which I hate) and ultrasounds. Lord, your will be done. Give us the grace to trust you without condition.


Blogger DGH said...

I needed to read it! thanks..and I love you girl!

8:19 PM  
Blogger M&M said...

I found this post via your husband, via Phil Putnam (who I went to school with)
I just wanted to say that I can feel your emotions. My husband and I were actively trying for 5 years before we got pregnant (just 5 weeks ago) and I still have a hard time believing it. I won't say all the "encouraging" things that everyone else has told us...(I know they meant well, but they weren't very encouraging much of the time) I will just say that I can feel the pain and for us, it brought us to TRUST in God's faithfulness like never before!

9:36 AM  

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