A strange leading

This morning I was listening to the radio like I do every morning in the shower and the car, and Laura Ingraham was on, and I got this 'leading'. Now, this happens to me sometimes....I will just know that I am supposed to do something...and I know it is God. HOw, I have no idea, but I just know. Like to give someone a call, or write a letter, or......send a radio talkshow host a baby blanket.

Laura just adopted a girl from Guatemala...Maria. And it just touched me. I guess because DG and I are on the same journey now. Well, I hadn't even thought of it for a few weeks, and then BAM today...I just know that I need to send her this baby blanket that I made that has been sitting in the hall closet for a month or two. I know, I know...sounds crazy, but I love making these blankets, and had this one that I didn't know who it was for. Now i do. I sent her an email and I hope she doesn't think I am crazy! So, pray for Laura and Maria.

The Fishermen

My Pop sent me this cute!!! photo of my nephew, Caleb's, first fishing trip. He caught a fish, unlike me on my first fishing expedition where I sat out at Red River for 4 days and didn't catch a darn thing!!!! Some of the sweet old fishermen who I became fast friends with gave me fish, though! This picture just brightened my day so much and I wanted to share it with you.

A new journey

God has been doing things in our lives the past few weeks that are tough to even know where to begin to write them down. The last fertility treatments didn't work, and we were actually accepted to take part in an invitro trial, which would have been MUCH cheaper than invitro ($20,000). But after much prayer, wrestling, thinking, praying more...DG and I really felt deep in our souls that God wants us to adopt. check out DG's blog for more on that struggle: http://dg.hollums.com. Needless to say, it was tough and we cried alot (actually on Mother's Day was when we just 'knew' what God was leading). The main thing that we struggled with was what to do with the leftover embryos and found that none of the options were ok with us or with God, especially. We just couldn't seem to find a peace about itall. But when we thought about adoption, as DG so beautifully put it, our hearts leapt for joy at the thought of it.

I am still trying to wrap my heart and mind around it all. The grief. The struggling. The joy. The peace. The moments where I just feel sad about the baby we can't have, and then the moments of anticipation about the baby we will have. It is just strange. yet, we feel at peace......

Thank you for your prayers. We have felt them. Some people ask me 'why'...why after all the prayers were we not able to get pregnant. Was it just not God's will? My answer to that is: God never promised us that we would get pregnant. Do I think that God coudl make me pregnant? Yes. Do i think that since we didn't get pregnant that it was God not doing it? No. Do those two thoughts make sense together....no, but that area in between is what I have come to know is faith. I don't understand, but I do trust God. Totally, more now than ever. Why? Because I know who he is and that he loves us completely. And that, I guess is where it has all come down for us. And we feel peace with that. And ready for our new journey.